May 2021

How to stop an addiction

addiction

Because your life is full of choices you chose and decide but some of your choices may end up as habits in the near future, things you are addicted to. Habits, then addictions can follow the trait of the choice which they came through, and what you think about them― good or bad. If one of the choices you made is an now an addiction so bad to you and you want to quit this is, although not all of it, how to stop.

1. Stop defending or justifying your addiction, don’t hesitate to let loose, just stop!

Remember something is bad when you yourself consider it as bad. It sometimes happens that you know you are stuck into something ‘bad’ that you are not ready to let it go, but sometimes you have a feeling each time you exercise it that it must go.

An aspirin addict did amazing work. He asked someone to lock the door leading to an en-suite from the outside, him on the inside together with what was enough for his tummy in the next two months. Such is a rare breed of commitment, and the timing as well. He blew up two months of his once-in-five-years leave to let go of a pill high in caffeine.

2. Try to avoid the means that increased your in doing what you are addicted to, reduce the probability of getting exposed to such.

Is it gambling or betting that is your addiction to fight, and you think gambling is bad for you? Shutting contacts with those who make you gamble and being absent to such places that you are likely to do so is, although a weaker solution, a good choice.

If it’s avoiding adult content and the outcomes to come out of such, and you think it’s all good for you to avoid it, then keep potential places, where you do it, closer to likely preying eyes. Keep your door open, and try to feel that everyone is closely watching you. And go on to reduce the time of your stay in such places.

3. Try not to be a lone ranger.

Fighting addiction requires you to kick out of your life all people who are friendly to that addiction. Only after that, you can try to have some more friends to revel your weekends with, your good times with. People friendly to what you want to be without the addiction, and to you as well as a host to that addiction.

4. Find an advisor

This is essential. You need a second layer of people who can throw some good words to you and help you through it. People who can give you the right package of dos and don’ts specific to each addiction. The greatest, if not only, input, after all, is from you. You don’t change anything if you don’t put anything on ending a habit that you are a host to.

5. Immerse yourself into the do’s and don’ts and do what you must or don’t do what you must not.

Do exploit a chance when it comes, like severe illness when you are a smoker, and allow yourself to employ all mechanisms there can be to have yourself stop.

Digital detoxification: When I dropped out of college, someone posted on my timeline on Facebook that he was not welcoming the news of my departure. This so happened while I was trying to conceal my dropping out. And, so, to prevent this from happening in the future I deleted my Facebook account only to return back two years later intending to only advertise through it. A WhatsApp account in my name will never be active.

Don’t admire those who are better-off addicted. Don’t admire your wins possible through the addiction.

Do learn to pour more of your love on something like a pet in your backyard. Don’t think and believe that it’s too late.

Do, address it by attacking a hobby, or something that is not an addiction itself, but the addiction’s greatest accessory and enhancer. You can first let go of the alcohol, if you happen to take many cigarettes when drunk, and take them without much control. After dealing with beer and cigars, you can now get back to that sweating bottle in the chiller and soak your throat.

Don’t forget each day about your struggle. Don’t sleep. Be consistent. And…

6. Record your progress.

Keep your progress in a secret diary, noting the days you have managed to do well without and some of the changes/challenges you have faced. If you are now doing your smoking three times a day next month’s progress should be two.

Keep everything in your diary you can read over and over. It helps to keeps yourself much concerned about your problem. Rage, of intense desire to halt it, keeps flowing in your veins.

7. Keep yourself busy. Exhaust yourself through new hobbies. Be happy and satisfied.

Giving yourself some time to sweat helps in fighting one of the things that drive us into some behaviours, stress. Buying your happiness through any other means other than the substance is the cure. Forget to think about making yourself better in any other aspects of life. Be satisfied.

A busy day makes it impossible to squeeze some activities on its schedule. Try to make yourself so busy to chase your addiction away. If it is possible create a list of alternate goals to address when your daily goals are done.

The habits of keeping old assets for the sake of it is never good: Impact

addiction

Impact19:00hrs-20:00~ One of our neighbours and a frequent visitor visited by. He explained to me that he intended to sell his tractor, an old one and very outdated that its engine if it can be fixed to run asks for a juice that is a mixture of paraffin and diesel. The challenge now was his wife was resisting, arguing that it be left to their offsprings, the youngest, born after the tractor had long existed, being twenty-six. The buyer was one, and a passerby who was collecting those relics for a museum.

My visitor unloaded all his story expecting me to start gushing out the words of advice suiting his situation but I stayed flat. As a person who can say a lot of such words of advice it didn’t become a surprise to hear him asking why I was silent.

‘You are here asking me what I have to say about our own culture of doing things. We keep them. You’re approaching your retirement age now, and you still find yourself in a quarrel with your wife over a thing you acquired  around your thirtieth birthday, and it’s not even a building that can stand for such time its a vehicle.’ My last pot was on the stove as I was preparing my dinner, I couldn’t waste chances have him believe that a man as young as his last born was with the right words. I went on to give him an example of the very first mango tree planted in the village, it was one, and the grandsons and daughters are proud of having it.

‘Now, someone, seven years ago planted some orange trees and they are selling just right to the green one and I wonder if some are to buy flowers as some form of booking the fruit, but he planted them with a belief that they are trees for the grandsons and daughters. The end result was a small orchard, and while his salary was USD500 when he planted them now its USD100. He can only regret that he couldn’t make the orchard a big one then but he can never have it big now because his salary no longer allow him to do so.

‘That tradition of keeping things for the sake of it, and another of doing the very little that’s only for the memories to stay within the family when more should be done is poverty in itself.

‘If your wife is wrong, you must be as well. You yourself kept the old relic in the garage for fifteen years without a piston firing, and then you think now you must let it go. Why this late? I am asking because the world doesn’t pause to have you deciding and do what you must do.

As our discussion went on, reaching its peak and then dying with his departure, I had learned four more things:

  • It is not about having things that can stay it is about having things that mean value and more value. If you have chance to do big at the start, don’t hesitate, do big at the start. Your pension can be an eighth wonder.
  • Holding on to the old things affects negatively the way we act on what we intent to come up with. The bigger and the better things we come up with are a result of the bigger and the better motives we can have before starting. Motives that used to drive our things in the past are relics to throw away.
  • Holding on needs one to be doing it to the things with a heart , things that can love back not to assets.
  • Much of our success depends on how much trash we turn into gold. If once gold turns into trash its either we turn it into gold or discard it. We must do both fast.
  • Some can last but most assets are a perfume can, once empty, its empty. You can not refill it. Discard or feel the pain of trying to refill. Successful bakeries delivering their own bread in this country can not feel the pain in having a vehicle of their own resign after three and a half year at work or even less.
Meeinrad Socien

This is Impact from SubjectMe

In the darkest moments of my life, I open up my diary which is greatly digital now, and read for solutions. My diary is quite a big one, and I had to find means to share its little scraps with you.

The Impact edition of Socien’s personal diary shorten things for anyone without the need to read the full version of the diary, SubjectMe. You are never alone in the extremes, and you, me, him, her, can find a way out.


More motivational SubjectMe Impact entries

24 May, 2021

Bringing the starting line to where you are

Of all the things that determine an outcome, that should make us super afraid when any outcomes of our undertakings are about to be spelled out time is big decider. We don’t quite have our hands over it, all this resulting in an approach which says the sooner the better so than we can have something better tangible sooner

I was mistaken for an outcast

What they say you are sometimes is not, but it is their information concerning you. Sometimes they can go ahead and give you an advice when they are wrongly misinformed. In this Impact section you will learn from first hand experience.

01 May, 2021

Bringing the starting line to where you are

informativus_logo

Of all the things that determine an outcome, that should make us super afraid when any outcomes of our undertakings are about to be spelt out, time is a big decider. We don’t quite have our hands over it. Our purpose is usually to do good things the soonest we can. When conditions say “no!”, bringing the starting line closer and start anyway is tremendous respect for time.

The courage to draw the starting line where one is standing just now and without waiting for then, without waiting for all the requirements to be there first, works. The line itself can only look upon one drawing it and see that courage but zero or few of its requirements that it can take as right for a start. When that happens that courage should bear its fruits in one attempting to takeoff.

It takes starting low and having that low produce some. Some that are then harnessed to mean some more, then bounty. This ‘offspring approach’ requires concentration on each of the inputs s/he is employing, because if the employing fails then there is a challenge in finding the replacing input. Deciding is for once, redeciding is for the start not the middle of each phase. Wiser choices are those done through a spectacle that looks deep into the future, not the day after tomorrow. Good choices are done knowing that tomorrow is not for nothing and that tomorrow can add value to the future.

Good choices are not wasteful about time. They are progress.

People are afraid to run without the shoes, the shoes wonder if best runners are people who first put them shoes on before learning to run only to get their talents out of them shoes. The fear of not having when you must have, is the fear of getting to have when you are not having. You can’t have the best you yourself when you are afraid that you don’t have that requirement which is an essential for a good start to get you where will definitely get to have.

23May2021Sun A friend passed by while I was working in the garden. A conversation we had with each other was good. We were discussing about job opportunities, and I had some tough time to convince him to avoid waiting for a job which is never readily available in our Southern African country, Zimbabwe. Above were my words to him after convincing him to do some form of production then sell the produce.

Through a microphone on my $2 set of earphones I recorded my words after pausing the FM radio. This is for you.

Meeinrad Socien

This is impact from SubjectMe

In the darkest moments of my life, I open up my diary which is greatly digital now, and read for solutions. My diary is quite a big one, and I had to find means to share its little scraps with you.

The Impact edition of Socien’s personal diary shorten things for anyone without the need to read the full version of the diary, SubjectMe. You are never alone in the extremes, and you, me, him, her, can find a way out.


Oh, hey, the above entry was first taken as an audionote via “My Diary by Diary App and Notes & Audio Editor & Voice Recorder” and its available on Play Store. A proper top 10 by us is coming soon, and “My Diary” qualified.

Because nothing can break our addiction to it, and to other modern gadgets like it as well, let’s help each other here to give that phone a tool position in our lives. We can’t keep it robbing our precious time.

More motivational SubjectMe Impact entries

Not time specific

Finding my passion

This is a story of how passion can be found and allowed to grow up in one.

I was mistaken for an outcast

What they say you are sometimes is not, but it is their information concerning you. Sometimes they can go ahead and give you an advice when they are wrongly misinformed. In this Impact section you will learn from first hand experience.

01 May, 2021

Catching and not having it in your hands

Informativus avatar

29Apr2021-Thu. During this time of the year, the distance increases between the sun and the southern hemisphere, where my home is located, resulting in the temperatures going cooler there. After casting my nets for the night’s catch on 28 April on a deep site which is what catching fishermen do when the river gets colder (the fish occupies deeper pools to bask in stock of some warmer layers of water and this may allow them to keep feeding).

I felt the season’s chill punishing. The following day when I went to the river to check if my nets had achieved something, my decision was to pull the nets straight from the water while standing outside and pack them for the home where I would pluck the fish from them. All was haste until the unexpected slowed it down not only for the moment but for the day. While I dragged the nets off the water in the manner stated, a fish (Labeo forskalii/Plain Shark) that was reported by a database of fish species, Fishbase, to reach a documented maximum length 36 cm), was in for the drag and it was around 36cms in length. It could have become my personal record but it didn’t because it slipped from the nets; it being caught partially through its dorsal fin and its fleshy lips that makes it a labeo.

The call, one not to be resisted, ‘is come again, and come again next time not only knowing this but ready to do what you know if you are to succeed’.

The frustration of losing what would have become my personal trophy led me into kicking stones enraged. It was a great personal loss a fisherman could not wish to come across because those personal records can make one fisherman feel like a fisherman for sure. As for me, the whole village could have gathered around to see it and I imagined myself placing a ruler aside it and photograph it. But I lost it before that could happen.

You can read: Achievements and success: What makes the lives of achievers?

I didn’t lose. I won something. Next time, so I learned, if I am to have something of this magnitude in my hands, I must be in the water not on the river banks, I must be in the cold not in my jacket, taking the unpleasant cold not the warmth because those few minutes are what gives records or shatter them; compensate fairly the fisherman’s patience or dispirits him/her. I caught a fish, in a big size not documented before in the river as a fisherman, I lost it before none could witness it. Such happen in real life when you get so close to something and have nothing in the final end. The call, one not to be resisted, ‘is come again, and come again next time not only knowing this but ready to do what you know if you are to succeed’.

The best opportunity available to me was me. I lost it because I couldn’t push myself further to get what was mine. Because I couldn’t be in the water, worrying about catching a cold what was mine ceased to be.

That best opportunity available, if it is to be available to oneself, requires oneself to push him/herself further if it is to be realised. You the best opportunity. Prove that you’re there for you.

Meeinrad Socien

This is impact from SubjectMe

In the darkest moments of my life, I open up my diary which is greatly digital now, and read for solutions. My diary is quite a big one, and I had to find means to share its little scraps with you.

The Impact edition of Socien’s personal diary shorten things for anyone without the need to read the full version of the diary, SubjectMe. You are never alone in the extremes, and you, me, him, her, can find a way out.

Below is a timeline packed with other few Impact


01 May, 2021

I was mistaken for an outcast

What they say you are sometimes is not, but it is their information concerning you (never take it as advice). Sometimes they can go ahead and give you an advice when they are wrongly misinformed. In this Impact section you will learn from first hand experience.

Finding my passion

I caught a fish. My personal record, the biggest of its type I have ever seen coming out of our river. Stating why I couldn’t quite end up with it I picked a motivational offence.

01 June, 2019

Information: Advice and words said without knowing.

Read my Personal Diary, SubjectMe

We live in the world of information, where we can’t do without information, can’t avoid information, made better by information and or ruined by information.

To deal with something you can’t avoid learning to ignore what must be ignored quick and take what you must take in. Also, consider it the very much available information, the words people say about you when they say something about you face to face or first person to first person.

01May2021-Sat-11:45hrs. Mom called me into the kitchen hut and asked to settle for my first meal of the day as I seemed to have forgotten that I needed to eat while working in the garden in a very manual offensive, I, myself, having spent four of my hours between 10 pm and 5 am writing. I entered the kitchen hut where upon entering I was savaged with not-so-good words by mom’s friend (ten years older and once her labourer in the past, then now financially sound than her) my mom was having some good time with, her friend being a woman whose grownups assisted me with the USD100 (interest-free loan [my mom had to pay it back]) which my Informativus blog and my fish farming business got parts of their baby steps from. She helped a lot, confronted her sons with the words of how much I desperately needed that USD100 and said to them she was not going to leave ‘their home’ without it.

That aside.

I consider Bantu as one big language with sub-languages and sub-languages housing their own sub-languages and sub-languages of sub-languages having their own dialects.

Mine and her fall into one specific sub-group which includes (Barwe, Manyika, and the greater Shona) among Bantu languages. So, speaking in one sub-language of another sub-language (Manyika>Manyika of Shona) and her speaking in her own (a sub-language of Barwe) we can not only understand each other but express each other very deeply linguistically, without any need of killing parts of our languages that are not popular to both (only it takes some getting used to the way both of us speaks). Deriving it all from the word rombe, which she used, which would translate to a social outcast, one or ‘soul’ where ‘bad lucks’ are thrown in, such that materially the physical being housing that soul can not get to possess anything, she said something that would translate to, “Son, you don’t have to be in the garden after receiving the best education, it’s for the outcasts in the family”.

Rombe is a very spiritistic word which found its usage, where in many cases it shouldn’t, as moderation for ‘bad omened’ etc. She didn’t put in her linguistic fabric or sentences such words like mwanangu (my child, also used metaphorically) or its other variants but her voice was that of a parent or someone with the authority over me, that I as its target could not refuse or could not have any barriers to disconnect it from what’s a piece of advice.

After mom joined her in her assail arguing that I was taking a wrong direction, I calmly fired back like a son back with one of those lines running my mentality and, in other words, my seeing mind: “A salary when its fifty, its fifty. A profit or an outcome of a self-adventure when its zero you can work and think more, and you are free to, to get it to ten when zero is nothing to you, then from ten to two-hundred.

I motivated myself as I walked out of this stand-off, with a plate in my right palm filled with some thick porridge and a perfectly-cooked red-eye labeo fish, smocked beforehand, that one day I would be saying to my mom’s friend that I was not choosing a wrong path back then as an individual, and that, admitting my win, she would be saying, kusaziwa which would translate to, “I didn’t know.” Yeah, that herself did not know that if my starting in a garden after my coming from the university was the good path.

Here in this entry, I am not saying my path was right, but it was my choice, one to keep me happy in this life, and it was not bad. I was even happier earning zero dollars in that garden, but also hoping to change the odds and become someone in my future without the salary, than being a doctor at a government hospital at the same time, being as just my parents and friends wished. But there was a piece of advice. A piece of advice comes from experts and it is expected to have ten times the impact a suggestion could have.

Sometime we take seriously words from people who are not aware of the path we are attempting. To keep our patience glowing so that we may fare well in that path we shouldn’t. Because people can’t help but to have a word to say and say it confident enough as if they are right. They also say something without being right, without the information with which to claim or base their rightness.

Avoid a disaster don’t avoid people. Avoid toxic information, and way of seeing things that is against your path if you have nothing but great faith on your journey.

My mom’s friend wasn’t my enemy, she was the greatest helper in my life. It was her way of things that was not tally with what I intended to be. While two things in us tussled in the background, we both tolerated each other, had to work fine with each other. That created peace between us, and ensured that one generation (mine and me) could become successful through the help from the other (hers and her). What determined my success as a result of her helping hand was only a matter of how I took that help, analyse it only to have it or discard it. She helped financially. When in need of some advice I was with no choice but to put someone in that slot.

Her saying that I was becoming an ‘outcast’ was some sort of help. She was giving an advice, to have me quit my path and return to the right one. That advice even after she followed it with how she wanted to negotiate for me a better place at her son’s home in the town, her arguing that a town is a place for the educated like me, and the garden, where I was getting lost, was for people like her was not correct to my wrong path. I wanted not a place in the town. lt was I who only knew that my business plans wanted that cheaper rural land, to start my fish farming company, a peaceful rural home with electricity to build my blog, Informativus, instead of a crammed high-density corner of the city with a population density of over 10,000 on some forty-five square kilometres.

Low costs living the life, more money left, more meaningful business done, more money made and given away.

This is SubjectMe Impact.

This is impact from SubjectMe

In the darkest moments of my life, I open up my diary which is greatly digital now, and read for solutions. My diary is quite a big one, and I had to find means to share its little scraps with you.

The Impact edition of Socien’s personal diary shorten things for anyone without the need to read the full version of the diary, SubjectMe. You are never alone in the extremes, and you, me, him, her, can find a way out.

More motivational SubjectMe Impact entries


29 April, 2016

Catching and not having it in my hands

I caught a fish. My personal record, the biggest of its type I have ever seen coming out of our river. Stating why I couldn’t quite end up with it I picked a motivational offence.

Bringing the starting line to where you are

Of all the things that determine an outcome, that should make us super afraid when any outcomes of our undertakings are about to be spelled out time is big decider. We don’t quite have our hands over it, all this resulting in an approach which says the sooner the better so than we can have something better tangible sooner.

Not time specific