It came before money. Give me a life under a dollar a day, I can still enjoy. Pleasure is not defined by an income. It satisfies. I cannot argue that it’s happiness. I expect it. I yearn for it. I go for it. It is my income that buys it. It can never buy my income or my success.
Like a generation before me. I couldn’t reason that while young, income-wise, it is wiser not to put pleasure first. An income doesn’t grow out of anything that doesn’t buy it. An income is at risk when it only buys.
My other biggest mistake is considering a salary as just a salary, pocket money as just pocket money and donations as donations. Because bigger ideas are baking in my mind. They are a mixture of dough enough to supply a bigger town and a bigger market. For the market to have a bite I am addicted to thinking that I need millions or real money. I forget that I can start low and grow. I relax. I forget to start low. I buy myself more pleasure because any quality or quantity of an income has its own format of pleasure to buy.
I think that I don’t have real money. I think real money is borrowed. When I discover myself not illegible to borrowing real money I stay put. I let my mixture dough to go bad and die undiscovered.
The pleasure is always mine.
I cover my pleasure with drinking where the average crowd does. Pleasure is not opposed. It is justified. I think as well that luxuries are part of pleasure. I buy luxuries as soon as I afford them. Big brands make money through me.
I relax. Waiting for my shallow watering hole to naturally fill up and to quench my thirst. I don’t bake mortar to build bigger things in life. I blame someone for creating an unequal system. Yet, my thirst doesn’t end by drinking. It takes squandering to kill it.
I know that money is a medium of exchange. But when I get it I don’t exchange it with positive goodies in my life. I waste it.
The pleasure is always mine. It is how I define success.
I see life as too short. Everyone do. I then think that its only purpose is to be recklessly enjoyed. I forget to build a positive legacy that will stay after my departure.
They work harder. I do. When they think before working harder, putting their brains first. I also do. I don’t take letting my brains go over the work as an essential step. They do.
When they go the extra mile to turn their thinking into a takeoff. I sleep. When they fly I wake up and fall into pleasure. For I think life is short, that they will be grounded and under the ground one day as I will be.
When nails holding pieces on my inadequate ladder suddenly turn into something to buy my pleasure. I don’t hesitate. I buy. Someone just turns those nails into something. When my ladder is nothing left or remains nothing I join someone’s or keep myself at someone’s.
I believe that I was born to be given a place to stay at lower part of someone’s ladder. I forget that to climb or have mine back I need to quit some of my pleasures. That to fly I need to mind my own business.
I enjoy killing my time. I detest what I become after wasting my time. Killing the time is a requirement in each pleasure. Requirements sum up to become all I have. All I have is now guaranteed no to multiply. I don’t see pleasure as my worst enemy.
The pleasure is mine. I see it as good life.
Others I pleasure with ruin their houses as I do. They however build new ones in the horizon with the same rubbles so that they can fly. The difference is what they are deep down that I don’t see when we are together. I failed to build my deep-down-self. I don’t see it as a position to have my wings fixed. But any plane flying is with wings connecting with inner components.